Just can't win

Thought I had a place, went and looked at it, talked with the owner, told him i was very serious about it, and then he went and rented it out anyways, since the three times I called friday he didn't answer. I left two long messages. Oh, It was to good to be true. So now Iput the money back into savings and keep looking. Had my hopes crushed again!!!!

Just another day

So I actually have a day off today and hate it almost. I tried to sleep in this morning, but had to pee so bad by 7:30am that I just couldn't lay there anymore. And once I was up, well, I wished I wasn't. I had to do my security shift for the week here at Nickelsville, so I had to stick around all morning til 12 noon to do my three hour shift. Then Left to the library downtown and back to on line searching for housing! Got some responses and phone calls yesterday, late so we'll see how things go.

Still I press on

So I have picked up a dishwashing/closing shift at specialties this saturday, which is better than sitting in the camp with nothing to do, I guess. And since I have no money or my dog and no real social life as to speak of yet, I guess its good that i just keep myself busy and keep making as much money as possible, for my own place that my dog Boodah will finally join me at!!! I can't believe how fast time has actually gone by. I've been back in Seattle now, with a job for 46 days, and have been homeless for 14 days this saturday. My bosss at work pulled me aside to day after work and was very conserned that I was ok, was I doing well, was I eating, did I have money, she even offered to buy my next bus pass and I haven't paid her for the first one yet. Mary's even willing to be a reference for me, both professional and personal. And I try to joke about my situation as much as possible at work, trying to not take anything to serious and find the bright side every day. Its hard and exhausting!! I really wish my dog was here with me!!! I try and keep up a front, and by all outward appearences I seem ok, but inside I am miserable and depressed. I have really started to ask my self why am I here in Seattle. I can work anywhere, and since I've thought about going back to school, I can do that anywhere too. I don't really have anything major going for me, a small social safety net, but not really. Maybe things will get better, but i have seriously set myself a deadline for a decision, that when the camp gets ready to move on November 14th, what are my plans?? To stay, find housing and get my dog up here, or do I take all that housing money, rent a truck and move it all back to...? Why Idaho??? I really could move anywhere, right, but then I'd be in the same situation, needing housing and a job, but now with no money. So I kinda have to think on this. I mean Idaho is ok, and what i hate about it isn't that bad, but it feels too much like I failed and am returning home, instead of moving home after a good career here in Seattle. Maybe I'll stay here until Karen and Terry move with the girls, and tag along, who knows. It hurts my mind thinking of all these things.

Almost another week

So as I approach the end of my second work week while being residentially challanged, I am broke, but refuse to touch my savings account, so I'll suffer, and Idaho didn't cancel my food stamps, so guess who's saying fed this month. I've been replying to ads on craigslist for apartments around town, but most either have income restriction, ie you can't make this much or the more popular, you must make 2.5 times the rent in income. So on a $600.00 place, I'd need to make $1500 a month, which if that is what i was making a month, I wouldn't need a $600.00 a month place, right??? I don't know, and until I save up enough cash to even pay first and a deposit, both damage and pet, I can't really get my hopes to high. There are a couple good places right now that are giving free rent and $99 first months, or waive deposit for renters, so we'll see. both are at opposite ends of the city. one, the Park Hill Apartments, are located in Skyway, which is even furtheer south than southpark, but more central and a straight bus ride into town. The other is located north of the u-district, way north, like 100 blocks, but is on the bus line to the U of W, so in might not be bad, plus just today I got a line on another place, so we'll see. I know it sounds funny but I do have alot of expences even being homeless, and its hard to save up enough cash this fast. But I gotta get my dog up here, hopefully before the holidays.

So I continue looking for Housing

I haven't given up completely, seeing as how I have a month til Karen can bring my dog up, if I have a place, so maybe something will come up, sooner the better. I found a couple places that I am contacting right now, each is far from work, but were 2 bedroom units for like 850-900. Am looking now for one bedroom units in those same buildings, and with any luck, might finally have a place of my own by thanksgiving. Then comes the joy of moving everything from the katrina disaster that is my storage unit to my new place, and then going through each bag and box one at a time to seperate the junk from useable stuff, seperate out all the broken stuff, and finally seperate my stuff from Nadine's, rebox it and have her come get it, or something like that. But I gotta do something and fast cause I miss my dog so much and just want him up here with me before the holidays if at all possible. I'm on the internet every day now, so hopefully it will work out.

Housing depression

So I spent all weekend looking for housing only to slowly realize that my eviction from last December will unqualify me from almost every apartment building and managment company for the next two years. Sad is that i finally have a good job, and can easily afford to pat my own rent. So I am now back to looking at shared housing situations. My friend Mike gets $800.00 a month from the Government each month, and he needs a place too, but his record and credit isn't better than mine. It does drive me nuts, though i completely understand how many landlords and rental agencies get burned, hell- I still owe Pinnacle Property Investments from my stay and eviction from the OK Hotel. But I need my own place and I need my dog up here soon. I'm going crazy without him.

Such a Crazy Encounter

So as I was getting on the 43 bus from the u-district today, the bus driver gave me a hard look, and then as I sat down, asked me where my dog was. At first I was a bit taken back, so I told her that He was with my Mom in Boise. The bus driver then went one to ask about my girlfriend, Nadine, and even about the guinee pig, which was really kinda of weirding me out, cause that's a very specific time from my life. Turns out, she used to drive the 10 and 12 bus, that me and Nadine, with the dog and the pig, we all rode to the methadone clinic and home, 6 days a week for a year and a half. Crazy kind of world huh.

I also went and did a little value village shopping yesterday, and got alot of stuff for my urban camping adventure, aka my second tour of duty. Got some dishes, pot and pan, plus a new hoodie and a nice heavy coat all for $38. Plus a plastic tote to put everything in. Nice and neat.

Week One Completed!

So I have sucessfully survived my first week back being homeless, and without to much effort I might add, though my amount of medical grade marijuana has almost tripled, which is to be expected during decompression as I ease back into my second tour of duty, return to the streets, as it were and get my life somewhat evened out.

This second time around is so different than the first time. Its just me, with no dog or fiance to worry about, and that takes almost all of the stress off me. I do miss BooDah so much, and ironically this is probably the worse time for me to be without him, seeing as how he is my service dog for anxiety, panic attacks and depression, so for now, I've gone back to the anti-depressants, but don't like them cause the what i can afford to buy doesn't really help, its not enough. I'll get things worked out later, but I am struggling day to day.

Work is kinda of....well lets just say that i go in high, stay a good little robot and do my job, do it very well, and then go home. When the question of wether or not to return to idaho, i had to consider the facts, that I do have a job here, something that I don't have in Idaho, and my stuff is all here, which would cost more to move to Idaho than an apartment here. Plus, the weed is much better here and cheaper, and was one of the three original reasons I moved up here with the morons in 2002.

I'm trying to stay connected and up to date, using the library alot to check my mail, do posts and blogs, which is definately easoer without my dog, so I guess its good hese's still at my mom's for now.

My Update

So as of Saturday, october 9, 2010 I am once again homeless in seattle, having just paid 500 bucks to a lady in southpark for a room for rent, I find myself now broke, with out my laptop or web camera or wireless router stuff, since she kept them all. So I am now doing my second tour of duty in the tent city, and am still working, now saving up for my own place. It's all about the dog now, how fast he can come and be with me again, we'll see

My Rant

WARNING!!! THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND SERIOUS RAGE. INTENDED FOR MATURE PAGAN AUDIENCES ONLY.
 
Ok, so what the fucking hell!!!Why does fucking life seem to shit on me know matter what the fucking hell I do. I thought I had stuff finally fucking figured out and just like that, I have no place to fucking live now, my fucking laptop and my new fucking web camera are now fucking gone and so are my new wireless routers from clearwire, who already fucking replaced them once for me. Fuck. If I had just gone and fucking stayed at tent city, aka Nickelsville from the start, I'd be that much fucking closer to my own place. That fucking bitch from southpark really tried to fuck me over, and I'll get her back, but fuck that bitch, its all about my fucking dog right now, and how much i miss him and need him right fucking now, though it will fucking be a whole fucking month till he can get a ride up here, THANK YOU KAREN. I hope to have my own place by then, if I can fucking catch a break.

such a lazy day

Got to sleep in a whole two hours extra today as its my Saturday today. I do need to go get a load from my storage unit, but it was so cold and overcast early so I'm getting a late start to my day. And I had a meltdown earlier, my computer froze up then crashed, which just set me into a panic. But after giving my laptop a timeout in the corner by itself, it has decided it wants to work and thus life is normal, as it can get.

Friday on a Thursday

So I don't work again until Sunday, so i guess this is my weekend. I hope my roommate will help me bring a truck load of stuff from the storage unit, think post Katrina plus 9-11 all stuffed into a 12X16 foot unit. Everything is in garbage bags, thanks to our eviction last December and a part of me is slow to go through it all, cause it is splitting up my life from Nadine's after 2 and a half years together. Its all mixed together and has to be gone through one bag at a time, separated and repacked. If i can do maybe a truck load every two weeks, I'll have it done in time for Nadine's wedding in December. Crazy times, cause I hope to move into my own place by December, and will have my dog BooDah finally here with me in Seattle sometime in November, thank you Karen!!!! Lets hope the weather isn't to bad and makes a trip over the pass out of the question til spring.

back online

Yeah, i'm back on line with my own wireless now, so i'll be able to blog more, like every day and hopefully will be able to upload some video and pictures so everyone will know that though i am miserable living here in southpark, its not forever, just like six months until i can afford my own place closer to the city. My days are kind of a blur now, i get up at 6 to be on the bus at 6:15, so i can travel via 3 busses to the u village and be to work by 7:30am. I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The job itself is kinda lame, as i just sit in the back of this bakery and make soup, in large 6-12 gallon batches at a time. Its not what i want to do, I am very serious about opening this sub zero frozen ice cream shoppe. There is nothing like it here in Seattle. And I'll blog more about my new co-pilot, and the lose of the love of my life Nadine who is very happily engaged to get married the december. I feel absolutely crushed, having spent so much of my life, like the last eight years with her. Here's to another chance at life..