So I guess i haven't thought alot about this, but its almost been a whole year since my return to Seattle after being left in Idaho my by EX. Doesn't feel like it, but when i sit and think about all that has happened to me since my return. I've been robbed, homeless, worked and quit 1 job, moved twice, and that was all in 9 months, crazy huh?
I ran into an old street friend yesterday while out shopping for a new phone. His name is Little John, and I meet him when i was homeless and working the corner of 1st and Pike, giving tourist info and flying signs with the dog. Because i treated it as my job, i was always there, everyday, so i got to know all the many colorful people that live and hustle that area. John was an alcoholic, crack smoker and heroin addict, boosting from stores and general no good. But i never judged anyone, helping out as i could. The homeless helping the homeless cause nobody else would. Before i left Seattle last summer for Boise Idaho, i "loaned" him $20, joking that i know "owned" his soul, which he agreed.
John is now just a functional alcoholic. To you, that may not sound like much of an improvement, but to an addict, on the streets, it is. While on the streets, i gave him the information and told him for a month, everyday, to go get on the state's GA-U program, file for SSDI and move to GA-X, then use the state's insurance to get onto the methadone wait list NOW, cause it takes 4-6 months to get in. He now admits it was the best thing he ever did. As we talked yesterday, he was so excited to see how well i was, to see the boy cause EVERYONE loves boodah james. Hasn't touched dope or crack since he got into the methadone program, cause he really wanted to get clean. We had talks about all the money we wasted, about how multiple addictions are worse, trying to come up with money for beer and dope just to function sucks. John's starting his detox soon, and while he still hustles for beer money, the bike cops rode right past without a second look.
I still see other from then, people that don't remember me, or haven't changed at all since then. I watch them from the bus stop downtown, doing the same hustle, the same loops around and around
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
time for an update
So this won't be to long as i need to still take the boy for a walk around the block before i head off on my long commute to west seattle to work.
"WHAT?" you say, "West Seattle?? Work??"
Now if you really did say that, then I 'd know you're not my friend on facebook, cause everyone followed the drama of my life as I quit my job at Specialty's, a job i liked, but a company i didn't. Ironically, the area manager that hated me, and yes, she really did hate me, well, after i quit because of her, she was fired herself because of a pending lawsuit/investigation related to health code violation issue. Truth, she made us, the store and its employee's remain open and producing product with NO RUNNING WATER in the store, none-hot or cold. Several employee's called the health board that day. I have worked in some filthy kitchens in my day's as a cook, (BluWater Bistro on Lake Union, the one that "burned", real filth hole, and it was 4 star). I guess I should really thank Susan for being the rude bitch that she was, cause without her, i would have never quit, or at least been available for the job I have now.
A TERRIBLE BEAUTY
No, its not a tragic story, but a great Irish pub that just expanded from one bar in Renton, to its new, smaller and way busier, more money making, West Seattle location, where I now work, thus the 2 hour commute both ways.
I really just walked into this job, ready to work that day. The owners Jenna and Patty are very cool, and they know my friend Troy from KingStreet, so its cool, plus an old friend from Idaho, who moved up here to Seattle 10 years ago with me, Mark happens to just know Jenna and Pat too, and works on sundays at the Beauty, while kicking it full time at another job, like how I do the odd shift or two during soccer and football.
The first couple weeks were really rough. They had a friend acting as their Kitchen manager, and he not only failed to hire any prep cooks, line cooks or dishwashers, but then he quit the first day of a soft open.
I walked into my worst anxiety nightmare, a snafu kitchen where there was no training, cooking from the table menu cause there's no recipe's, can't find anything. Trial by fire, and not every one made the cut. Not everyone made the line either, and now things are settling out. We have a great chef now, things getting organized, tickets times and wait times are sooo much better.
I'm also hoping to move into a place here in a couple months out in West Seattle, well more White Center, but thats kinda ghetto. Its a nice 2 bed on a piece of land so there's a yard for the boy to run around in, and a potential garden spot between the garage and the road. Well see how things go. The owner is a good friend/my 2nd mom up here, but I'm trying to cut in line of another of her employee's who kinda wants the house too, but we'll see. If not, then I keep commuting and saving til I find something I guess.
"WHAT?" you say, "West Seattle?? Work??"
Now if you really did say that, then I 'd know you're not my friend on facebook, cause everyone followed the drama of my life as I quit my job at Specialty's, a job i liked, but a company i didn't. Ironically, the area manager that hated me, and yes, she really did hate me, well, after i quit because of her, she was fired herself because of a pending lawsuit/investigation related to health code violation issue. Truth, she made us, the store and its employee's remain open and producing product with NO RUNNING WATER in the store, none-hot or cold. Several employee's called the health board that day. I have worked in some filthy kitchens in my day's as a cook, (BluWater Bistro on Lake Union, the one that "burned", real filth hole, and it was 4 star). I guess I should really thank Susan for being the rude bitch that she was, cause without her, i would have never quit, or at least been available for the job I have now.
A TERRIBLE BEAUTY
No, its not a tragic story, but a great Irish pub that just expanded from one bar in Renton, to its new, smaller and way busier, more money making, West Seattle location, where I now work, thus the 2 hour commute both ways.
I really just walked into this job, ready to work that day. The owners Jenna and Patty are very cool, and they know my friend Troy from KingStreet, so its cool, plus an old friend from Idaho, who moved up here to Seattle 10 years ago with me, Mark happens to just know Jenna and Pat too, and works on sundays at the Beauty, while kicking it full time at another job, like how I do the odd shift or two during soccer and football.
The first couple weeks were really rough. They had a friend acting as their Kitchen manager, and he not only failed to hire any prep cooks, line cooks or dishwashers, but then he quit the first day of a soft open.
I walked into my worst anxiety nightmare, a snafu kitchen where there was no training, cooking from the table menu cause there's no recipe's, can't find anything. Trial by fire, and not every one made the cut. Not everyone made the line either, and now things are settling out. We have a great chef now, things getting organized, tickets times and wait times are sooo much better.
I'm also hoping to move into a place here in a couple months out in West Seattle, well more White Center, but thats kinda ghetto. Its a nice 2 bed on a piece of land so there's a yard for the boy to run around in, and a potential garden spot between the garage and the road. Well see how things go. The owner is a good friend/my 2nd mom up here, but I'm trying to cut in line of another of her employee's who kinda wants the house too, but we'll see. If not, then I keep commuting and saving til I find something I guess.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
oh there's power in them thar lines
So its nothing impressive, and i still have no way to post pictures to show everyone that we now have power back up and running. I'm not sure how it all worked out, and I don't really care, I just rent a room in a house, that's all.
I've been really struggling with a lot of issues, things are just piling up and I'm having a hard time dealing with the depression again. Funny thing is that when I was homeless, on the streets, i had the best insurance ever, and was just starting to get on medications that seemed to help, but I wasn't able to stay on them long enough and couldn't afford to pay for the extra insurance wouldn't cover. So now that I'm back to being employed and with a house, why do I feel less happy and satisfied? Why is the destructive slide that always happens right before I lose a job starting again? And then there's always the what's the point, we all die in the end, overwhelming sense of dread and hopelessness. Or how about the I've spent my entire life working these jobs, and once the meals over, there's nothing left to ever prove what you did was even real. There is nothing tangible. And now I've wasted my life training in the street kitchen for a job i can't stand.
And I'll need at least 2 PhD's to help me unscramble my brain after Nadine leaving me. I thought I had a handle on things til I went and staid with her a couple weeks ago, and now its like a bomb has gone off in my brain, my depression is worse 10 fold. I'm working on getting back with some of my doctors from before, but that's money, which requires a job, which means I need med's, from a doctor, which require money......
oh, and new blog I just started, to see if it helps my mind, http://naedemonstories.blogspot.com, or you can probably just link from here see as how right now I am the sites only guest and visitor, but who cares. I should warn you, its adult, very personal and deals with a lot of insane issues. Feel free to comment, but I won't really check them, cause the only person will tell me herself, if and when she reads them all, trying for 101 stories and letters.
I've been really struggling with a lot of issues, things are just piling up and I'm having a hard time dealing with the depression again. Funny thing is that when I was homeless, on the streets, i had the best insurance ever, and was just starting to get on medications that seemed to help, but I wasn't able to stay on them long enough and couldn't afford to pay for the extra insurance wouldn't cover. So now that I'm back to being employed and with a house, why do I feel less happy and satisfied? Why is the destructive slide that always happens right before I lose a job starting again? And then there's always the what's the point, we all die in the end, overwhelming sense of dread and hopelessness. Or how about the I've spent my entire life working these jobs, and once the meals over, there's nothing left to ever prove what you did was even real. There is nothing tangible. And now I've wasted my life training in the street kitchen for a job i can't stand.
And I'll need at least 2 PhD's to help me unscramble my brain after Nadine leaving me. I thought I had a handle on things til I went and staid with her a couple weeks ago, and now its like a bomb has gone off in my brain, my depression is worse 10 fold. I'm working on getting back with some of my doctors from before, but that's money, which requires a job, which means I need med's, from a doctor, which require money......
oh, and new blog I just started, to see if it helps my mind, http://naedemonstories.blogspot.com, or you can probably just link from here see as how right now I am the sites only guest and visitor, but who cares. I should warn you, its adult, very personal and deals with a lot of insane issues. Feel free to comment, but I won't really check them, cause the only person will tell me herself, if and when she reads them all, trying for 101 stories and letters.
Friday, May 6, 2011
My two week notice, and other such happenings
So I just realized that I haven't made a new post to this stupid thing in quite a long time, and since the whole point of this was to keep my friends and family up to date with my life, I guess I should write something while I have power, but I'll get to that....
I guess I should start with my job situation, since it seems to be the bane of my life right now. I actually like the job i currently have, don't get me wrong. As it has evolved from when I first started back in September, I have adapted and because I am truly one damn fine line cook, have had no problem doing my job. The problem currently has been two fold.
Point 1) Our store now does the entire production work for two stores. Thus everything has doubled, or in some cases tripled. And I mean everything, the amount of product produced every day, our inventory and product orders, and the time it takes to prep everything. Like hundreds of pounds of turkey being cooked, sliced and portioned every day. But no real extra staff was assigned, and no extra labor hours are allowed. I went from making 60 gallons of soup a week, to over 140 gallons a week now. But the manager, and I'll get to her later in point 2, well she has no clue about how to produce that much, and doesn't understand why I can't do that in my old timeline, ie in two days. Now I might be assuming too much here, but I think any rational person will see that double the work= double the time, especially since I don't get double the production equipment. I only have the two 40 quart steam kettles. My production capacity is limited. And then throw in the lack of basic product needed to do my job, regardless of how much I need to do, and well.....we run short. Not much I can do about it.
Point 2) Our store has no real manager. Our GM was sent to another store to help turn it around and become more like our store, which somehow mistakenly has been credited to her great management skills, but please don't make me laugh. It the crew of my store, the lowly people that work there day after thankless day that make my store what it is. It has absolutely nothing to do with our GM. So she is hardly ever at our store anymore, and has no idea what has been happening with this whole double production experiment. To top things off, the kitchen manager that we all love and adore and would bad mouth the GM with, well she was sent off for 2 months of training, to do the job she's been doing for months. Now what kind of idiot would take their GM, and their KM and send them away at the same time you start this huge change??? SPECIALTY'S!!!
Now, like I said, I do like my job, and I do like the people I work with, i have just come to hate the company I work for. Its sad when even the area manager, who doesn't really like me, but can't find any fault with what I do and we just smile at each other when ever she comes through, tells us to "Fake it till you make it", or until Friday. So I did put in my two weeks notice today, and all my friends from work have given me their full support on facebook, everyone understands its not the job, its the GM that needs to go away, now, to her new store, and leave us alone to do our jobs, that we all know how to do by ourselves, which is how she got that damn GM of the Year award, which I think has clouded her mind, made her forget just who actually does the work on a $6,000 day, cause it sure as hell ain't her all by herself.
ok, slight pause to get another Jameson on the rock, yes I'm at a bar. Free power and internet, why not
Let's move on to another topic, how about housing?
So I live in a room for rent house in the northgate area of Seattle, just blocks from North Seattle Community College. I moved into the place in November, and since then, the power has been turned off 3 times that I know of, and the water twice. Now the situation is a little weird, see the landlord Gil, is married to Scott's ex wife. Scott and Gil are friends cause they both hate Scott's ex wife, follow? Scott moved from DC five years ago, to be near his kids, needed a place to stay for a bit, and Gil happens to have a couple rental properties like this house. So Scott moved in. Five years later, I have learned through several phone calls to Gil and talks with Scott many things. Most important is that in five years of the utilities in Scott's name, Gil has paid the bills off completely 3 times, and now once again, they are way past due. The power bill is $3,000 and the water is $1,500. The power company was so mad at Scott for cutting the locks off and turning the power back on him self, same with the water, that the utility companies came first of april and took the meters. Yes, you heard right, no power or water since April. At first, one of the other housemates was borrowing power from the neighbors, to which I paid into, and was able to keep my laptop charged, thus having internet and netflix at home, so I didn't care. But since he owed like two months rent, he has sinced moved out and has taken his miles of cords with him. And Scott steals water by hooking up a pipe at night to the main, connecting the house, to which I guiltily use cause come on, with my families bowel movements, its only fair to the world. (Kevin and Chris will understand) I cook on a propane camp stove in the kitchen, so dinners are limited to skillet creations or soup pots, like instant potatoes or rice. I use the same pan, pot, plate and fork, so the disaster that has become the kitchen is not me. Thankfully, I am well practiced in this type of living from being homeless, and since there's no utilities, I'm not paying rent, which is money I need for food, since I eat alot of take-out and delivery, laundry, not to mention my medication need has increased, which means more money for the green and Jameson. Thank the Gods for that four-legged heater of mine. He's such a trooper right now. We go to bed so early now, or he's left home alone now that Mark doesn't live there to play with him. And I know my depression right now, not wanting to do anything, or leave the house, is affecting him, and I feel bad.
WOW!!! That's some much drama and BS simplified down. So overwhelming. My ADD has kicked in and just ordered some dinner, Fully loaded chicken nachos. So that's it folks. Not nearly as exciting as my siblings posts, with their fancy pictures and colorful fonts, its just not me.
I guess I should start with my job situation, since it seems to be the bane of my life right now. I actually like the job i currently have, don't get me wrong. As it has evolved from when I first started back in September, I have adapted and because I am truly one damn fine line cook, have had no problem doing my job. The problem currently has been two fold.
Point 1) Our store now does the entire production work for two stores. Thus everything has doubled, or in some cases tripled. And I mean everything, the amount of product produced every day, our inventory and product orders, and the time it takes to prep everything. Like hundreds of pounds of turkey being cooked, sliced and portioned every day. But no real extra staff was assigned, and no extra labor hours are allowed. I went from making 60 gallons of soup a week, to over 140 gallons a week now. But the manager, and I'll get to her later in point 2, well she has no clue about how to produce that much, and doesn't understand why I can't do that in my old timeline, ie in two days. Now I might be assuming too much here, but I think any rational person will see that double the work= double the time, especially since I don't get double the production equipment. I only have the two 40 quart steam kettles. My production capacity is limited. And then throw in the lack of basic product needed to do my job, regardless of how much I need to do, and well.....we run short. Not much I can do about it.
Point 2) Our store has no real manager. Our GM was sent to another store to help turn it around and become more like our store, which somehow mistakenly has been credited to her great management skills, but please don't make me laugh. It the crew of my store, the lowly people that work there day after thankless day that make my store what it is. It has absolutely nothing to do with our GM. So she is hardly ever at our store anymore, and has no idea what has been happening with this whole double production experiment. To top things off, the kitchen manager that we all love and adore and would bad mouth the GM with, well she was sent off for 2 months of training, to do the job she's been doing for months. Now what kind of idiot would take their GM, and their KM and send them away at the same time you start this huge change??? SPECIALTY'S!!!
Now, like I said, I do like my job, and I do like the people I work with, i have just come to hate the company I work for. Its sad when even the area manager, who doesn't really like me, but can't find any fault with what I do and we just smile at each other when ever she comes through, tells us to "Fake it till you make it", or until Friday. So I did put in my two weeks notice today, and all my friends from work have given me their full support on facebook, everyone understands its not the job, its the GM that needs to go away, now, to her new store, and leave us alone to do our jobs, that we all know how to do by ourselves, which is how she got that damn GM of the Year award, which I think has clouded her mind, made her forget just who actually does the work on a $6,000 day, cause it sure as hell ain't her all by herself.
ok, slight pause to get another Jameson on the rock, yes I'm at a bar. Free power and internet, why not
Let's move on to another topic, how about housing?
So I live in a room for rent house in the northgate area of Seattle, just blocks from North Seattle Community College. I moved into the place in November, and since then, the power has been turned off 3 times that I know of, and the water twice. Now the situation is a little weird, see the landlord Gil, is married to Scott's ex wife. Scott and Gil are friends cause they both hate Scott's ex wife, follow? Scott moved from DC five years ago, to be near his kids, needed a place to stay for a bit, and Gil happens to have a couple rental properties like this house. So Scott moved in. Five years later, I have learned through several phone calls to Gil and talks with Scott many things. Most important is that in five years of the utilities in Scott's name, Gil has paid the bills off completely 3 times, and now once again, they are way past due. The power bill is $3,000 and the water is $1,500. The power company was so mad at Scott for cutting the locks off and turning the power back on him self, same with the water, that the utility companies came first of april and took the meters. Yes, you heard right, no power or water since April. At first, one of the other housemates was borrowing power from the neighbors, to which I paid into, and was able to keep my laptop charged, thus having internet and netflix at home, so I didn't care. But since he owed like two months rent, he has sinced moved out and has taken his miles of cords with him. And Scott steals water by hooking up a pipe at night to the main, connecting the house, to which I guiltily use cause come on, with my families bowel movements, its only fair to the world. (Kevin and Chris will understand) I cook on a propane camp stove in the kitchen, so dinners are limited to skillet creations or soup pots, like instant potatoes or rice. I use the same pan, pot, plate and fork, so the disaster that has become the kitchen is not me. Thankfully, I am well practiced in this type of living from being homeless, and since there's no utilities, I'm not paying rent, which is money I need for food, since I eat alot of take-out and delivery, laundry, not to mention my medication need has increased, which means more money for the green and Jameson. Thank the Gods for that four-legged heater of mine. He's such a trooper right now. We go to bed so early now, or he's left home alone now that Mark doesn't live there to play with him. And I know my depression right now, not wanting to do anything, or leave the house, is affecting him, and I feel bad.
WOW!!! That's some much drama and BS simplified down. So overwhelming. My ADD has kicked in and just ordered some dinner, Fully loaded chicken nachos. So that's it folks. Not nearly as exciting as my siblings posts, with their fancy pictures and colorful fonts, its just not me.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Almost been a month
I just don't know where the time goes lately. Its been almost a month since my last post, though nothing tends to change, so the days blur together and dissolve into weeks.
Work has been a little crazy lately, with many changes happening and more to come. Our store manager is being transferred to another store, so she is splitting her time between the two stores, which means things are even more chaotic. And now starting this week, our store is responsible for the prep and production of not only our stuff, but for the Bellvue Square as well. That's right folks, double the workload for everyone, without the resources or space. And once the toll starts on the 520 bridge, figure 4-6 trips a day, i don't know how the powers that be think this idea will save money.
I'm still working the Boeing angle, have been applying for every entry level position that opens up, but with no clear response, I'm not sure how its going. I'm in no hurry right now, and have some other things working as well, like picking up a couple shifts back at KingStreet hopefully, once baseball starts here in april.
Sadly, that's really all there is to this whole month. I've just been working and trying to stay afloat until I can figure out what to do next with my life. For the first time in 8 years, I have no idea of what to do.
Work has been a little crazy lately, with many changes happening and more to come. Our store manager is being transferred to another store, so she is splitting her time between the two stores, which means things are even more chaotic. And now starting this week, our store is responsible for the prep and production of not only our stuff, but for the Bellvue Square as well. That's right folks, double the workload for everyone, without the resources or space. And once the toll starts on the 520 bridge, figure 4-6 trips a day, i don't know how the powers that be think this idea will save money.
I'm still working the Boeing angle, have been applying for every entry level position that opens up, but with no clear response, I'm not sure how its going. I'm in no hurry right now, and have some other things working as well, like picking up a couple shifts back at KingStreet hopefully, once baseball starts here in april.
Sadly, that's really all there is to this whole month. I've just been working and trying to stay afloat until I can figure out what to do next with my life. For the first time in 8 years, I have no idea of what to do.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Where did this week go??
I don't know where time went, but it sure doesn't feel like a week has gone by since I got out of the hospital. My wrist still hurts, but the specialist that I went and saw yesterday said it looks great and is healing fine, keep doing what I was doing, end of story. So I guess that's then end of it, But I still don't have full motion back yet.
I have been doing alot of thinking about where I was last year, it seems like a whole different life time ago that I was squatting in that beautiful commercial lot up in the CD, at first so I could stay close to Nadine in Nickelsville. But when they barred her, and she went to Tent City #4, I stayed where I was. It was a good place, well built, park with bathrooms open 24/7 just 2 blocks away, on a major bus line. I was fortunate that the winter past was very mild, moderate temps and no snow, just rain. I was out in the weather every day, me and Boodah both, up by 9 and downtown to our spot, ready to work by 10am. I was my own boss, and stayed til 6 almost every night, then we'd head home, via the park, and be back in our boy-scout special ready for bed by 8. I lived pretty much my life based on the sunlight and weather.
Having read my sisters blog about how her and her husband Tyler hooked up per say, made me realize that I haven't had to build a new relationship like that in over 8 years. There was Danielle, and then Nadine, and I thought that was to be it. I feel to old to start all over with somebody. Its hard when I've spent so much time invested in such a deep soulful relationship, as the one between me and Nadine, one built on years of friendship first, then further. Now I have to start all over again, which does give me the chance to "hide" some parts of my past, but in the end, its my past that makes me who I am. And honestly, I'm too old to care, I am who I am, colorful past included.
Was excited to finally take some pictures and get them uploaded to my blog and Facebook, but as I was putting new batteries into it, I dropped it, and now it has issues. I can't believe that this camera traveled in my bag the whole time I was homeless and managed to survive, to Boise an back to Seattle, the only thing of value that Bitch from SouthPark didn't keep of mine when she robbed me and threw me out. Of course, it was in my bag, so I had it the whole time. I hope that if I work it a bit, maybe it will turn on, then case is loose and the buttons get stuck sometimes. I discovered that tis laptop has like 4 different card slots to transfer info from, so uploads should have been quick, and video too. Oh well, you will all just have to wait now. I am also working on getting the scanner/printer of mine working again too, just looking for a power cord for it, somewhere in the mess.
I have been doing alot of thinking about where I was last year, it seems like a whole different life time ago that I was squatting in that beautiful commercial lot up in the CD, at first so I could stay close to Nadine in Nickelsville. But when they barred her, and she went to Tent City #4, I stayed where I was. It was a good place, well built, park with bathrooms open 24/7 just 2 blocks away, on a major bus line. I was fortunate that the winter past was very mild, moderate temps and no snow, just rain. I was out in the weather every day, me and Boodah both, up by 9 and downtown to our spot, ready to work by 10am. I was my own boss, and stayed til 6 almost every night, then we'd head home, via the park, and be back in our boy-scout special ready for bed by 8. I lived pretty much my life based on the sunlight and weather.
Having read my sisters blog about how her and her husband Tyler hooked up per say, made me realize that I haven't had to build a new relationship like that in over 8 years. There was Danielle, and then Nadine, and I thought that was to be it. I feel to old to start all over with somebody. Its hard when I've spent so much time invested in such a deep soulful relationship, as the one between me and Nadine, one built on years of friendship first, then further. Now I have to start all over again, which does give me the chance to "hide" some parts of my past, but in the end, its my past that makes me who I am. And honestly, I'm too old to care, I am who I am, colorful past included.
Was excited to finally take some pictures and get them uploaded to my blog and Facebook, but as I was putting new batteries into it, I dropped it, and now it has issues. I can't believe that this camera traveled in my bag the whole time I was homeless and managed to survive, to Boise an back to Seattle, the only thing of value that Bitch from SouthPark didn't keep of mine when she robbed me and threw me out. Of course, it was in my bag, so I had it the whole time. I hope that if I work it a bit, maybe it will turn on, then case is loose and the buttons get stuck sometimes. I discovered that tis laptop has like 4 different card slots to transfer info from, so uploads should have been quick, and video too. Oh well, you will all just have to wait now. I am also working on getting the scanner/printer of mine working again too, just looking for a power cord for it, somewhere in the mess.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
A trip to the ER
So I thought I'd try and get this blog written now while I'm all doped up and my wrist pain has turned into a dull throbbing pain.
Ok, so I was walking to the bus last Tuesday morning, when I tripped over a raised sidewalk edge, which Seattle seems to have many. I completely wiped out, and actually took a "Family Guy" moment as I lay there in pain. I got up and went to work, without thinking anything of it. By the next morning, my left wrist was a little sore, but nothing to unbearable. Later that night, I noticed that it had started to swell up a bit, so I put ice on it, elevated it and gave it no more thought. By Thursday morning, the wrist had swollen up so much that I could barely touch my fingers together. I tried to gimp my way through work, but once my manager saw it, she immediately sen me home to get medical attention, which I had planned to do anyways, but after work, since they've been cutting my hours now, and I need every one I can get.
Seattle has many many hospitals, but if you are poor, homeless, critically injured or uninsured, there is only one place that will take you, regardless of your ability to pay, and that's HarborView. Now I have been there several times, but this was my first adventure as a patient. I arrived around 1:30pm on thursday, and checked in, filled out my admittance paperwork and my financial charity application, which was approved, so this whole adventure would now be free, which is why I think they just went nuts in my treatment. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I then sat in the ER waiting room until 7:30pm, when I was finally taken back to a bed in the ER. I almost left twice, thinking how stupid it was to spend so much time just to have a doctor tell me my wrist was just sprained and I needed to go home, ice it and then wrap it. Well, they looked at it and wanted to get some x-rays of the wrist. But before that, they wanted to draw blood for tests and cultures, and place an IV, for fluids. At this point, I was very open with the nurses about my past Vascular abuse (if you have to ask, then you don't know me that well), and sure enough I provided even the best nurse there with a challenge. Not only did they have to find a usable vein, but then they had to hit it and thread the catheter into it and get it to hold. After 3 tries, they finally managed to get a small (22ga) IV into a similarly small vein in my upper arm, almost to my shoulder. Crazy part was that they couldn't draw blood out of it with the syringe, so with this needle and splint sticking out of my arm like a small drip faucet, they free bled me to get my blood samples, then hooked the IV up, which accepted and flushed without problems. At this point I'd like to explain how nasty of a taste in the back of your mouth you get every time they flush the IV line with saline. If you never experienced it, you're lucky. So its now about 9:30pm, and they get my blood work back, with elevated white cell count, an indicator of septic infection. So they start me on a an Antibiotic that made me turn bright red and made me feel like I was on fire. After an hour, when the IV was done and they came to get me for X-rays, they noticed my condition and got all upset that I hadn't said anything to them about this discomfort. Honestly, after the 1mg shot of Dilaudid, aka Hydromorphone, a powerful narcotic used to treat pain, I really didn't notice or care about any minor pain. Anyways, its now pushing 11:00pm and they take me to get X-rayed, 8 times, just to discover that there is no break or fracture, which then brings the orthopedic surgeons into my life. They sent me to get a CT scan, which involved pushing a marker dye through the IV, more instance fire in the veins. The result of all of this, was that I had a pocket of fluid build-up in my wrist and they suspected it was septic, leading to an abscess, that must be drained. So I was loaded up with more pain meds, oxycodone this time, and then they numbed my whole hand with Lydocaine, and right there in the ER room, they made an inch long cut in my wrist and tried to force the puss and fluid out. But nothing came out, which seemed to annoy the doctors. It was at this point, they decided to keep my overnight, kept pushing antibiotics in me and try again in the morning to drain the infection. I was NOT happy about staying. I just wanted them to patch me up, give me the oral antibiotic and send me home. My wrist now looked and felt worse than before. Plus I was starting to feel sick, cause I hadn't eaten all day. Around 3:30 am, I was moved to the 6th floor, to an actual hospital bed. And once again they tried to put a new IV in me. But my reputation of a hard poke/poor vascular condition had proceeded me. My nurse Jen took up the challenge, and it proved to much. I suffered quietly as she tried to hit veins on the top of my left foot, the top of my right foot, across my right ankle and the side of my right palm, some of THE MOST PAINFUL PLACES EVER TO POKE!!!!! She got frustrated with it, and was very thankful I wasn't upset by it. Really it would have done no good to complain. I had nobody to blame but myself for this, seeing as how I trashed all the of the biggest, easiest veins everywhere. I know understood what my councilor at treatment was trying to tell us, about leaving one spot, one vein untouched for just such an event. They finally managed to get a good, solid IV in my right ring finger, still painful, but it was a super site. So now everything, the antibiotic, I'm on 2 different kinds now, plus fluids are all funneled down and pushed into that tinny little vein we all have on each side of our fingers. And thats how my first 14 hours went. I'll finish the rest later, but basically, its more the same. Sorry, but my hand hurts alot right now.
Ok, so I was walking to the bus last Tuesday morning, when I tripped over a raised sidewalk edge, which Seattle seems to have many. I completely wiped out, and actually took a "Family Guy" moment as I lay there in pain. I got up and went to work, without thinking anything of it. By the next morning, my left wrist was a little sore, but nothing to unbearable. Later that night, I noticed that it had started to swell up a bit, so I put ice on it, elevated it and gave it no more thought. By Thursday morning, the wrist had swollen up so much that I could barely touch my fingers together. I tried to gimp my way through work, but once my manager saw it, she immediately sen me home to get medical attention, which I had planned to do anyways, but after work, since they've been cutting my hours now, and I need every one I can get.
Seattle has many many hospitals, but if you are poor, homeless, critically injured or uninsured, there is only one place that will take you, regardless of your ability to pay, and that's HarborView. Now I have been there several times, but this was my first adventure as a patient. I arrived around 1:30pm on thursday, and checked in, filled out my admittance paperwork and my financial charity application, which was approved, so this whole adventure would now be free, which is why I think they just went nuts in my treatment. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I then sat in the ER waiting room until 7:30pm, when I was finally taken back to a bed in the ER. I almost left twice, thinking how stupid it was to spend so much time just to have a doctor tell me my wrist was just sprained and I needed to go home, ice it and then wrap it. Well, they looked at it and wanted to get some x-rays of the wrist. But before that, they wanted to draw blood for tests and cultures, and place an IV, for fluids. At this point, I was very open with the nurses about my past Vascular abuse (if you have to ask, then you don't know me that well), and sure enough I provided even the best nurse there with a challenge. Not only did they have to find a usable vein, but then they had to hit it and thread the catheter into it and get it to hold. After 3 tries, they finally managed to get a small (22ga) IV into a similarly small vein in my upper arm, almost to my shoulder. Crazy part was that they couldn't draw blood out of it with the syringe, so with this needle and splint sticking out of my arm like a small drip faucet, they free bled me to get my blood samples, then hooked the IV up, which accepted and flushed without problems. At this point I'd like to explain how nasty of a taste in the back of your mouth you get every time they flush the IV line with saline. If you never experienced it, you're lucky. So its now about 9:30pm, and they get my blood work back, with elevated white cell count, an indicator of septic infection. So they start me on a an Antibiotic that made me turn bright red and made me feel like I was on fire. After an hour, when the IV was done and they came to get me for X-rays, they noticed my condition and got all upset that I hadn't said anything to them about this discomfort. Honestly, after the 1mg shot of Dilaudid, aka Hydromorphone, a powerful narcotic used to treat pain, I really didn't notice or care about any minor pain. Anyways, its now pushing 11:00pm and they take me to get X-rayed, 8 times, just to discover that there is no break or fracture, which then brings the orthopedic surgeons into my life. They sent me to get a CT scan, which involved pushing a marker dye through the IV, more instance fire in the veins. The result of all of this, was that I had a pocket of fluid build-up in my wrist and they suspected it was septic, leading to an abscess, that must be drained. So I was loaded up with more pain meds, oxycodone this time, and then they numbed my whole hand with Lydocaine, and right there in the ER room, they made an inch long cut in my wrist and tried to force the puss and fluid out. But nothing came out, which seemed to annoy the doctors. It was at this point, they decided to keep my overnight, kept pushing antibiotics in me and try again in the morning to drain the infection. I was NOT happy about staying. I just wanted them to patch me up, give me the oral antibiotic and send me home. My wrist now looked and felt worse than before. Plus I was starting to feel sick, cause I hadn't eaten all day. Around 3:30 am, I was moved to the 6th floor, to an actual hospital bed. And once again they tried to put a new IV in me. But my reputation of a hard poke/poor vascular condition had proceeded me. My nurse Jen took up the challenge, and it proved to much. I suffered quietly as she tried to hit veins on the top of my left foot, the top of my right foot, across my right ankle and the side of my right palm, some of THE MOST PAINFUL PLACES EVER TO POKE!!!!! She got frustrated with it, and was very thankful I wasn't upset by it. Really it would have done no good to complain. I had nobody to blame but myself for this, seeing as how I trashed all the of the biggest, easiest veins everywhere. I know understood what my councilor at treatment was trying to tell us, about leaving one spot, one vein untouched for just such an event. They finally managed to get a good, solid IV in my right ring finger, still painful, but it was a super site. So now everything, the antibiotic, I'm on 2 different kinds now, plus fluids are all funneled down and pushed into that tinny little vein we all have on each side of our fingers. And thats how my first 14 hours went. I'll finish the rest later, but basically, its more the same. Sorry, but my hand hurts alot right now.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Blast from my past
So an old friend of mine from high school, well actually I was her prom date, but out of the blue, she manages to get a hold of me. And to many things worked out for this reunion of souls to be just chance. I not only got my laptop and internet on the same day she got a hold of me, but it was Valentines Day too. So fo rthe past couple days we've been exchanging long messages via facebook, getting caught up on where the last 17 years went. And when I really sat down and plotted out how I got from graduation to here, well it was quite an eye opener, which has fueled my desire and need for this new career. I don't know how to feel or react. I'm excited to talk to her, to read her messages and learn what's going on in her life. Its like being in high school all over again, only I'm not the sheltered, and way over-protected ubber geek this time around. I believe the saying is "Older, Wiser and Well Trained." Downside, she is married with 4 kids, and while yes I do have a past with married women, nothing good ever came from it. And I am in no way asking her to do anything of the sort, we're in 2 seperate states, with one in between. But it more than quick comfortable friendship, based on a crazy time before drugs and women jaded me. I do find myself wondering what could have been, but that will never happen, so I try and focus on the what will be. These things take time, and like the good job at Boeing, this isn't happening overnight.
Monday, February 14, 2011
The wait is over!!
So my laptop finally arrived from Sony today, and I've spent most of the evening playing with it as I get all the bugs worked out, get the security set the way I like, turned on the auto sign in feature, and got my ClearWire 4G modem working. It seems to do fine loading web pages and such, but I haven't had the best luck with streaming video or audio. During a test phone call to mom, the video lag was noticable. And while trying to listen to streaming audio from my favorite web site, the stops and starts got rather annoying. I hope that maybe if I locate a good wifi network around, it will provide better options, until I decide what to do, or if I decide to change providers. Its probably not a good thing that on their own web home page, they have open forums with titles that are nothing positive for the company. Sure, ClearWire may have coverage here in Seattle, and while they do provide 4G speed, it does no good when they don't provide the bandwidth needed to power todays electronics. And Seattle's attempt at free wifi for all, with several locations like pioneer square and the u-district providing free wifi coverage over a large area, is also not up-to-speed. And that's my rant on that, technology causing stress and anxiety.
On the career front, I have started building my resume online with that local company starting in B, ending in ING, I mentioned earlier. Its going to take me some time to get everything just right, to copy and re-word the job descriptions they provide, working them to reflect my skills and my abilities. This new career jump is a totally new direction, and I'm not rushing into this, taking my time and a few months to get things right. Plus Nadine's man Dustin is helping me, working on getting some phone numbers so I can jump right to the front of the line, so to speak. Its exciting right now, cause theyt just unrolled their newest product and are waiting on a government bid, which will be BIG. I'm actually excited for this change. It will provide me the ability to maybe buy a house or condo here in the Seattle area in about 5 years, right as the market finally stabilizes here. Plus it provides great health insurance, some retirement security and the possibility of a future beyond restaurants. I realized that nothing that I have made as a cook, in 20 years, is around or exists today. My whole life's work, and nothing to show for it, but my knowledge and skill, which is not enough for me. I want to be able 10 years from now, to point and say " I helped build that." Something more concrete and personal. I know it sounds lame, but I've only got about 20 years of work left in me, if that, before my back and knees finally quit on me, and as of right now, living paycheck to paycheck, it scares the hell out of me. Having been unemployed for almost 2 years and being homeless too, for the first time in my life, I'm looking forward, far forward, into my future.
As I work out the bugs, I'll finally start getting some picture uploaded to my post, as well as facebook too. There really isn't much to show around here, but maybe the lake, and I know you all want to see what an awesome place I live in. And it is, in its own way.
On the career front, I have started building my resume online with that local company starting in B, ending in ING, I mentioned earlier. Its going to take me some time to get everything just right, to copy and re-word the job descriptions they provide, working them to reflect my skills and my abilities. This new career jump is a totally new direction, and I'm not rushing into this, taking my time and a few months to get things right. Plus Nadine's man Dustin is helping me, working on getting some phone numbers so I can jump right to the front of the line, so to speak. Its exciting right now, cause theyt just unrolled their newest product and are waiting on a government bid, which will be BIG. I'm actually excited for this change. It will provide me the ability to maybe buy a house or condo here in the Seattle area in about 5 years, right as the market finally stabilizes here. Plus it provides great health insurance, some retirement security and the possibility of a future beyond restaurants. I realized that nothing that I have made as a cook, in 20 years, is around or exists today. My whole life's work, and nothing to show for it, but my knowledge and skill, which is not enough for me. I want to be able 10 years from now, to point and say " I helped build that." Something more concrete and personal. I know it sounds lame, but I've only got about 20 years of work left in me, if that, before my back and knees finally quit on me, and as of right now, living paycheck to paycheck, it scares the hell out of me. Having been unemployed for almost 2 years and being homeless too, for the first time in my life, I'm looking forward, far forward, into my future.
As I work out the bugs, I'll finally start getting some picture uploaded to my post, as well as facebook too. There really isn't much to show around here, but maybe the lake, and I know you all want to see what an awesome place I live in. And it is, in its own way.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Another week older....
So I can't belive that another month is coming to a close. The days tend to blur together sometimes as I live such an exciting life. Besides work, I don't do much, don't socialize or get out, not yet.
I am close to getting my laptop finally, and that will help alot, and slowly I'm getting things back in order.
I am close to getting my laptop finally, and that will help alot, and slowly I'm getting things back in order.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Just another day...
So i can't wait until I can final stop using the library and am able to listen to my music online for longer than 90 min at a time. I can't wait to finally get this laptop, and so are my co-workers, cause they'r tired of hearing me talk about it, much like when I was waiting for the boy to arrive. Then my blog posts will be better cause I'll have time to sit and draft them out, but until then...
I'm doing good, still just working and that's about it. Kinda lame.
I'm doing good, still just working and that's about it. Kinda lame.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Oh the Food Handlers Class
And its not a good thing, but rather a painful 30 minute video that dumbs down basic food safety and restuarant methods so everyone, regardless of nationality or how long you've lived here, can pass a simple test of 37 questions, over topics and information that hasn't changed in over 20 years. Costs me $10 every 2 years, and its doesn't make me feel any safer, or less safer making people get one of these cards. Idaho nevetr did when I lived and worked there, it was up to each store, though the health inspectors came around alot more than here in Washington. I just wish there was a test only option, skipping the video, or better yet, watch the video on line then take the test online. I would like to say that most of what the class teaches I thought was comman sense to people, but then I met some people that are just plain ignorant. And not just imagrants either, but homegrown fenceposts of our own.
Basic Rules: Home or Restuarant
1) Personal Hygine-like washing your wands often.
2) Cross contamination-wash and sanitize all surfaces after use
3) Keep foods HOT(140 or above) or COLD(41 or below)
Easy, huh. Now pay me my ten bucks fools, you are food safety certified for Washington.
Basic Rules: Home or Restuarant
1) Personal Hygine-like washing your wands often.
2) Cross contamination-wash and sanitize all surfaces after use
3) Keep foods HOT(140 or above) or COLD(41 or below)
Easy, huh. Now pay me my ten bucks fools, you are food safety certified for Washington.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Weekend Off
I know that usually all I do it seems is complain about work, about working 6 days a week and getting burned out, but it did give me 40 hours a week, which I didn't get this week, but actually have two days off, in a row, and its the weekend, and I got paid. So why do I feel so bored and lazy cause I have done nothing? There are bags of stuff that need to be gone through, sorted and discarded. But I just lack motivation sometimes it seems.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
New Years start
So I just read Karen's blog and I like how she broke down the year by months, though it seems for mine, each month contains a years worth of events. Just this time last year, i was homeless, living in an 8X8 dome tent with Nadine and BooDah plus several suitcases and bags of stuff. We had been homeless for 2 weeks and it already seemed a lifetime had gone by. We would sit by the fire in camp and just watch people at first, it was like a real life comedy show, making us wonder what exactly we we're getting into. This month last year was when i was kicked off the program and had to kick the last 30mg in said tent, with said occupants, which meant long nights of tossing and turning, clostraphobia and anxiety uncontrolled. I wish that hell on nobody! In February we all moved to our new campsite, where 10 days later, I had to leave cause of the dog, and due to politics and one mans nepolian complex, couldn't return even after i appealed, won and was voted back by the campers. So I had to urban camp in a $1.5 million dollar commercial vacant lot, in a $10 tent. Fortunately, it was a warm and mild winter, and with the dog, we managed ok. I also started panhandeling about this time too, since I couldn't sit around and do nothing all day. And once I started doing it, and realized its just like fishing, it was fun. Coming up with new signs, learning new peices of worthless info to tell tourists for tips. Oh the things I learned about Pike's Market. Funny thing is, that I was only on that corner for 3 months, and made the news twice, met movie stars and pro athlets. We both had "fans" per say, though BooDah always got more attention than I did. And thats pretty much how March and April went. In May, Nadine went with her Mom to finally try and detox medically, while my sister drove up and got me, the dog and as much stuff as I could fit into her SUV, and took us back to my Mom's. I didn't really know what I was going to do, and just needed some time to decompress. For the first time in 2 years, I didn't have to worry about the needs or welfare of anybody. Was kinda nice. But the vacation was short lived. Once Nadine left me, I knew I had to get back, and get my life going again. Within a month, I was not only employed with a decent job paying me a fair liveable wage, but i had a place to live, though in October that changed for the better, and worse. I really had second thoughts at this point. What was I doing?? Within a month, I was homeless again. Back in the same damn tent city that I had been kicked out of only 8 months before. Believe it or not, but there were less than 7 people left from the original ones the first time I was there. But I didn't lose all hope, seeing as how I had a job, I had money coming in, so I just stayed low, saved up my money, and just before the tent city had to pack up and move, I left for a room for rent. For the next two months, the rest of the year, the routine just doesn't change. I did rent a car in november, goto thanksgiving at my grandparents where I picked up my stuff from Idaho, and got my son BooDah, so he's with me in Seattle again. And now its a new year, though it seems longer.
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